and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
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