ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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