My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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