Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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