she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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