my soul wont recognize me after tonight
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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