He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize