Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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