He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize