me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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