***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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