people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize