im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
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last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i believe in u and ur pee
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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