I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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