Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
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He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
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The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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