The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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