i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
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I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
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Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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