If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize