I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i will never coherently bang her
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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