By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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