Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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