i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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