she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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