dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
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Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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