I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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