"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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