when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
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It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
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I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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