I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have fence marks all over my body
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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