Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.

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  (515): She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body. http://tfl.nu/lybk
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him

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  (336): he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down (919): i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him http://tfl.nu/upw6
  Replies (67) Good night (3789) Bad night (1049)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.

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  (940): You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have. http://tfl.nu/bqro
  Replies (15) Good night (1090) Bad night (2483) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this

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  (347): we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this http://tfl.nu/0jv4
  Replies (30) Good night (5136) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...

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  (914): When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking... http://tfl.nu/3yo6
  Replies (13) Good night (4747) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer

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  (905): He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer http://tfl.nu/xvzr
  Replies (9) Good night (4658) Bad night (1131) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone

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  (425): four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone http://tfl.nu/zkvp
  Replies (37) Good night (1497) Bad night (3986) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.

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  (609): She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her. http://tfl.nu/z51y
  Replies (19) Good night (2759) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Challenge accepted. See you in hell.

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  (662): Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month. (662): Challenge accepted. See you in hell. http://tfl.nu/tj98
  Replies (28) Good night (6961) Bad night (792)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY

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  (304): Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY http://tfl.nu/auio
  Replies (6) Good night (1052) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.

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  (325): I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol. http://tfl.nu/32t0
  Replies (1) Good night (1088) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.

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  (985): I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic. http://tfl.nu/92jk
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.

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  (772): I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix. http://tfl.nu/g0qx
  Replies (2) Good night (869) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.

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  (623): That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party. http://tfl.nu/6ozh
  Replies (12) Good night (393) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.

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  (440): you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied. http://tfl.nu/16n4
  Replies (2) Good night (633) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt

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