Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
where does the pee come out of this thing
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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