I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize