there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
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he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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