The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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