I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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