Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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