Tell her she can't have a vagina
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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