I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize