I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
should my penis look like a turkey
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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