I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize