lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize