One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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