Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize