oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize