Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize