if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize