Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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