does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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