4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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