What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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