that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize